Monday, January 7, 2013

My 1st Monday

So... I couldn't get up --well, didn't try very hard at all-- to take the boys to the bus today. I was surprised that it was after 7 already when I heard them getting dressed, but Mike had been up since like 4:30am and Aaron, upon getting up at his usual 5:15 -- kept his morning shenanigans for Mike. Nice for me but.....

Well anyway - no bus, so Mike thought he missed it and drove the boys to school down in Millville -- to find out that school does not start til TOMORROW. I'd promised him it was today. :0(  

I had gone back to bed when they left -- everything hurts. Head. Chest. Neck. Shoulders. Everything EXCEPT this un-pulled tooth. Last night Mike told me he wants me to get a flu shot. This morning I laid in bed thinking -- why does he speak those thoughts out loud? Sshhhh - don't tell him I said that. ;-) Anyway - after the kids drove him crazy for awhile...he dons his warm workclothes and goes outside and fires up the woodsplitter. Because -- he still doesn't know WHAT has me in bed -- I think he just thinks I simply rudely left the kids to him. 

For most of the morning Aaron was outside "with" Mike, sliding down the melted "snowslope" stairway. His snow clothes are soaked and now ripped (due to the steps peeking out through what's left of the ice that used to be snow). Hunter plays on his new Xbox and then, what else?...TV.

Fritzi keeps licking and whisper-yipping to try to get me out of bed, but since Aaron is in and out of the house she won't leave my side. I'm finally up at 11ish...still in pain, still sleepy, still wondering if the boys have permission to be doing any of the stuff they are doing. Some nice chatter with Hunter, and then after his movie is over I announce I'm taking control of the clicky. He doesn't like it but succombs to the loss of cartoons (that were echoing in my head with resounding fury). :-)

I discover that Mike is going to take the boys to Eskimo Hill for some snow fun. This worries me usually because of how Aaron can get and knowing Mike has worked with the wood in the cold all morning.......but I know he WANTS to take them so I just double-check that he doesn't need me to go along. I also make sure finally that he knows why I've been in bed and his frustrated mood suddenly changes to concern and I see my husband peek through again. :-) Makes me happy. ;-)  Anyway -- they finally go. Lunch in hand, snow suits somewhat dried for the ride in the car, picked up a friend along the way. And I think about going back to bed again.

My body says YES. My heart, however, wants to revisit lessons learned yesterday. There are things to be done this year. Victories will be won by the Father as well as by my own hands. Yes - Father has empowered me to be who He has created me to be NOW. There is still preparation taking place for this year and the future...but there are also battles to be won TODAY. I am not a babe in the Word - I am a minister of the Gospel. I feed on the meat, consuming true purposeful calories designed as fuel to propel me forward as well as to sustain me through the duration of the life of a minister. It frustrates me to find myself sitting at the candy jar...wanting to taste the 'treats' that actuallyn hinder the progress of my strength and endurance training. It angers me to find myself wanting mother's milk (aka the feel-good messages) to keep things light and airy.

To WANT, to let myself believe I NEED, to go back to bed after noon today -- is not wrong when my body needs healing...but it doesn't. My body needs STRENGTHENING. My mind needs renewing. My spirit needs RIGOROUS rebuilding for this next leg of my journey. I've been in a research and/or meditation mode for awhile. I began a 100 day journey with no specific goal or destination in place. Rather, it was a test of sorts -- could/would I simply listen to God, search out and know some of the choices that would be lain before me, it was about not knowing the lay of the track on which I was running. The turn would be revealed just as I got to it. Whether to speed up or mark out a steady pace, also to be revealed right AT the time needed. It was more like racing a car, with ONE voice coming through headphones telling me what to expect and suggesting how to handle it AND giving me choices that I had the power to make on my own ---- but all only at the time needed.

ANYWAY.... I'm glad I have this outlet - this blog - because I really am very WORDY. ;-) ....ANYWAY .. this 1st 100 days is coming to a close, just in time for my birthday. For me...my birthday marks new beginnings for me. My birthday is when I make what others call resolutions. It is a time to reflect, to plan, to mark out some strategy, to define purpose. I'd like to invite you, those interested, along for parts of the journey of my next year. I won't write every day. I won't write about every detail. I won't even write about every distinguishing event. But I will share my heart. More importantly - what God lays on my heart TO BE shared.

Headache is gone. Praise the Lord. Heart is lighter. Glory to the Name of Jesus. Holy Spirit marks me with purpose and power. I will help you grow. Because He grows me.

Happy 1st Monday, 2013!! We have much to accomplish together, let's not pass this day, nor any other, without the Love of God, the Peace of Holy Spirit, and the Joy of Jesus my King.  ♥~gli

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

2013 - the year of More Than

A few months ago, as I was contemplating myself, and breakthroughs of 2012 - this is what came to me:
"I am more than blessed. I am more than a conqueror. I have more than I can think or imagine. What comes after breakthroughs and MORE breakthroughs? MORE THAN! "I AM" is more than enough. Dream. Plan. Envision. Write it down. Declare it. Prepare for and expect MORE!!! ☺ ♥"

Since then I've felt that 2013 would be the year of "More Than." More than enough, perhaps. More than expected or believed? Maybe just more than last year. But in my time of training my thinking to focus on the desired outcome, rather than on the problem to be defeated, I realize that it is so important to have a next step. I'm not perfect at renewing my mind yet. It is a continual way of life because we are bombarded with possibilities and choices every day. Half empty / half full? Which thinker do I want to be? I want to be decisive and purposeful. I want to decide to drink it and move on. BUT...I want to be understanding to some degree of those stuck in the half empty mode.

Where does 'more than' come in? Right there. I've learned, and am still learning, to expect breakthroughs and suddenlies. God's divine intervention always comes. He holds the answers, He sees the big picture, He knows the future -- reliance on Him is just how life is lived. Not that I'm anywhere close to perfect in that. I am constantly learning and growing. I am 43 and still learning that my parents still know some things better than I do. (hopefully my almost 22 year old son is realizing the same) So I re-learn constantly about God's provision. But I do know...He has provided. He has broken through barriers that I've set up and those that the enemy has set up. I also know my Abba Father has soooo much more in store for me and for my family.

More breakthroughs are coming...but not simply for the act of tearing down the wall itself. For the action that must be taken beyond that wall. For the lives that will be changed by my stepping through the challenges before me. The race - the journey - sure every step gets me closer to my Lord -- but every step also holds within it the ability, the promise, of effecting dynamic change in someone else. People are the reason. Jesus is the reason for the holiday season we have just celebrated. People are HIS reason for bringing us to and through the seasons.

2013 holds promise. It contains purpose within it's doors and we have, all of us, stepped through them. What will we do with the promise? What will we do with the provision? What will we do with the challenges? What will we do when the tank seems to have been syphoned? We go straight to the Provider, the Promiser, The Word. Because He has MORE THAN we can ask or think planned for us in this year. 2013 will break many records and will show forth His Glory, His Presence, His Passion for His people.

Happy, Blessed New Year!!!  ♥